February was much too short! I spent three weekends in a row traveling around my new home state and that really enabled me to emerge from my Hobbit-hole and live life to the fullest. Being out in nature, exploring new places, being around people, and allowing myself to receive love from the beautiful people in my life poured some light into my melancholy spirit. I can't say I have been clinically depressed, but due to hard events in the past year, I have been in a prolonged state of deep sadness and hurt and seeking healing. It was nice to feel like I could breathe more naturally for once, even if the sadness hasn't left. So, onto my list of what I have learned and completed.... 1. My in-laws are really special people. Well, I already knew this about them when we first met in June 2012, but it is confirmed to me again and again every time my husband and I spend a weekend with them. They are generous in ways I cannot even comprehend and, Lord willing, I want to be as loving and selfless as my mom/father-in-law someday. It seems to flow naturally from them and I adore their simple approach to life. 2. I managed to read 3 books in a matter of weeks. Anne of Windy Poplars was an absolute delight. Although I am reading the Anne series somewhat out of order, it is easy to follow through with the unique plots and characters introduced in each book. This series makes me smile and I am appalled that I never read them sooner in my life! The other two books I completed were Ten Poems to Set You Free and Ten Poems to Last a Lifetime by Roger Housden. I learned about some new 20th century poets that, to my surprise, I really enjoyed. I found myself savoring all of the poetry selections. I found some emotional rest in pouring myself into these refreshing books. 3. I learned a bit of the fascinating history behind famous historical sites in Santa Fe, NM. The Loretto Chapel, San Miguel Mission, and the St. Francis Cathedral were the main places I visited. Pictures from my visit there are from my first-anniversary post here.
4. Jemez Springs, NM may be an incredibly tiny town that is easy to overlook, but I have learned that it is a tucked away retreat! The trails that weave in between the mountains and along Jemez River are so wild and gorgeous! The southwest feel of the few shops and eateries makes it such a cozy place! Best of all, the Giggling Springs outdoor soaking pool is the most relaxing oasis ever! My husband and I spent the day there for my 25th birthday and it was divine! I emerged from that mineral pool feeling 100%, physically and mentally/emotionally, something I haven't experienced in a long time. If you read the list of minerals in the water, then it all makes sense why it makes one feel on top of the world! :) 5. Coconut flour pairs well with bananas! I attempted to bake a berry cobbler with coconut flour earlier this month that did not turn out well at all. It was edible, but lacked flavor and it was too moist and just, overall, uninteresting. So, I switched it up and tried a simple Coconut, Banana, Chocolate Chip cookie recipe, which you can tryhere, and they were so delicious and the texture was perfect! I am trying to eliminate the amount of grains and unrefined/refined flours I am consuming, so Coconut Flour seemed like the more beneficial and healthier option. 6. Etsy is my new way to receive inspiration for future DIY projects. Whether in fashion, home decor, gifts, decorations, or jewelry, Etsy rocks my socks! 7. I learned about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which is actually more wide-spread than many of us think due to the fact that it doesn't physically appear as a dangerous illness. I didn't know what to think when I watched this video. No doubt this is a very devastating genetic illness, but I can't wrap my head around how thankful and happy the lady in this video is. She is the face of true child-likeness and humility. 8. I've learned that reading is partly what inspires my writing. I have experienced a very long drought in my writing projects, but just last night experienced a little spark of creativity after reading a book. I often feel this way after reading a book and, although I don't always act on it, it has definitely brought a flood of ideas and meditations. 9. Life has seasons. Life has seasons. Life has seasons. I learn this every day. I repeat this to myself every day. I need to remember this every day because it helps me to rest.
10. I am learning to enjoy who I am. It has taken me 25 years to get to this point. 25 years of being confused by my intense, romantic, extreme, and idealistic nature, then understanding but disliking myself, then attempting to change myself, putting myself through lots of self-flagellation and forcing myself into molds that couldn't fit me longer than a short season. Those closest to me have seen every all these transitions and, honestly, it hasn't always been pretty. What is most interesting about this is that my husband, Nolan, has been the only one who hasn't seen all the different Erika-types that I drifted in and out of. He has only ever seen me for who I truly am. And he has accepted all of me, even when it has been excruciating and painful at times. I feel like I am becoming more of my true self since he has been in my life. Not because he himself is the source of my life, but because my raw edges rub against his and all that is truly me is being brought up to the surface. I always say that my husband taught me grace. Not because he knew it better than me or practiced it more consistently. He is just as much a human as I am. But he is a man that was humbled and touched by grace in the midst of darkness and there is a reservoir of life in him that always remembers this and seeks to extend it to others even when he is imperfectly walking it out. All this to say, his acceptance of the real me is what is making me more truly myself, more relaxed in my skin, more delighted in the way I see life through rose-tinted AND depressingly-blue smudged glasses. I don't feel comfortable preaching self-love here, but rather an acceptance and appreciation of one's self. To think that my Father in heaven stitched me together this way because He delighted in this combination that is me! It is more than I can fathom. But what if I just told Him "thank you" for making who I am a delight to His heart?
Here goes another 10 things post for the month! January was, overall, quite productive for me (and that is saying a lot!). I was determined to begin the new year with a purpose and a drive. December was such an tiresome month (and always a depressing one with the sun setting earlier); I did not want to walk into the new year with the same heaviness and exhaustion as last year ended. Upon further thought, I decided to change these posts to 10 Things Learned AND Completed for each month. It is helpful to record the things I learn as well as complete each month. I want to see and achieve consistency in those things I am pursuing. 1. Due to the generosity of a friend, I was able to begin making, using, and eating my own milk kefir at home and have been very consistent in continuing my current batch of kefir grains throughout the past two and a half weeks! For breakfast, I mix it in with homemade applesauce and granola because it is a little bitter. 2. I learned how to make viili yogurt, which doesn't require a yogurt machine. Much more simple! 3. I began learning to pickle/ferment green beans and carrots. I will soon find out if they turned out well! 4. I managed to go through piles of paperwork from my college years, things saved over time, sheet music, projects, etc. Nothing is more refreshing than getting rid of accumulating papers and items! Now, everything fits on the bottom of my bookcase and gives me much easier access to my files. 5. I discovered my love for beets (yes, the root vegetable! ha) and learned about their tremendous health benefits. They aid in the detoxification of the body, rich in nutrients, and are incredibly beneficial for hormonal/women's health. I love to eat them raw and shredded (in a food processor), drizzle with lemon juice, olive oil, salt, and feta cheese. 6. Patience in every area of my life. Still haven't searched out how far-reaching this virtue is needed in my life. 7. I completed reading two books last month (one was new, the other I had read before), which is something I want to continue doing throughout the year. Goodreads has been helpful and motivating for me to remain focused on my reading goals. My Goodreads account is here. 8. I tried a few recipes from my Pinterest board here. My husband was pleased with my creations and I do love savoring new meals! 9. I filled out applications for two local organic food stores near here. I am crossing my fingers! I love the environment and vision of both shops. 10. I began to develop more of a consistency with my yoga routine and daily walks. This is a tremendous step for me and I want to keep up with it! My lifestyle is sedentary and I believe that many of my ailments are due to this inactivity.
This will be the first time I have posted one of these monthly lists. I so enjoyed reading the posts by Emily Freeman on her blog here and decided it would be fun to partake in them! Things that I have learned this month... 1. Albuquerque is nothing like Phoenix. The roads are unpredictable, winding, and much more difficult to memorize. The road system in Phoenix is set up like a grid (even the highways!) and it is more simple to find your way around there. Needless to say, it will take awhile for me to really learn how to get around in Albuquerque. 2. When I am not creating, I become very depressed. Since moving, routine and normal life has felt difficult to return to and, thus, I have not done any writing or music playing. Nor have I tried any DIY crafts or recipes from Pinterest! I have had to seriously confront myself about this and accept parts of myself that are difficult to live with (i.e. I am easily distracted a lot!). I think an essential part to vibrant health is expressing yourself and creating things you love. Now, my goal is to get myself to focus. 3. As part of my slow journey towards organic living, I have discovered (through much research) the dangerous levels of chlorine (and flouride!) in city water. It is disgusting! Thankfully, my husband, who shares my desire for all things natural, purchased an awesome shower head filter from Berkey HERE and we immediately noticed the benefits! Dry skins and rashes begone! 4. Grown-up responsibilities stress me out majorly. Anything with money, cars, bills, identity matters, paperwork, and the list could go on and on. Well, I cannot say that I just learned this. I always knew this about myself, but there were some stressors this month that really made me reflect on this struggle and how often I mentally try to escape real-life things. I will be the first to admit that I am a failure in this area, which is why I have avoided a *real* job for so long, but there is a determined part of me that desires to learn and grown in this area. I do not like the feeling of submitting to a weakness in myself and would like for the chance to overcome and grow in any area. Thus why I am committed to finding myself a part-time job this new year. 5. After 18 years of not observing Christmas, I realize that I really want to celebrate it now. It is a long story, but I have been renewed in the meaning of Advent and the Christmas season this year and, although my husband and I were unable to do much this year, I am already planning traditions and practices to make this holiday our own next year. My Pinterest boards just exploded! 6. Trials and sorrows humble you in a way that nothing else can. I have felt like an ignorant and naive child much lately. I have many burdens on my heart that have brought about a fresh realization about life and people and relationships. With ongoing trials that I have experienced in my family's lives, I have felt my body age forward in time and my heart age backward in time. It has been a strange combination and has currently propelled me forward to seek much time for healing and grieving in my private life. 7. Understanding my own need for boundaries (a word that I have despised for a long time). I don't plan on reading that popular best-seller on boundaries that is available at every book store, but I have accepted that there is truth in the fact that it is healthy and okay and good to draw lines between yourself and family members or friends who may be, for lack of a better word, life-suckers. I enjoy pursuing, building, and investing in relationships that I often refuse to see that I need to step back or leave certain people to their own devices rather than trying to counsel and walk them through every little thing. Also, if they don't desire a relationship built on honesty, openness, and truth than it is okay to let them go rather than spending so much heart trying to get them to be at that place.
8. My need for rejuvenating rest in every area of my life. I am going into the new year deactivating my Facebook account for a bit so that I can organize and focus on a list of pursuits (artistic and health goals) I have for myself, many of which include routine daily health practices like yoga/pilates, walking, deep breathing, larger intake of nourishing teas like Tulsi, etc. 9. This is the true freedom of life in Christ [video excerpt below] something that has taken me a long time to embrace in all my moralism and legalism. I thank my husband for being an instrument of this grace message to me.
10. I am a Pinterest addict. There is just no other way to put it. I have learned that I get energy and stimulation from ideas. My head loves to drown in possibilities. Pinterest is a bad place for a person like myself, haha!
