2017 beginnings

January was basically winter on full force here in Colorado. It feels like the majority of the days this month were cloudy, dreary, snow-filled, and wet. There was a moment when I actually voiced to my husband that if the dismal weather wouldn't let up soon, I was pretty sure that I'd lose my mind! Thankfully, this past week, sunshiney days broke through and it looks like it will be that way for a good stretch.
 The month began with a visit from my not-so-little brother, Aaron, who I invited to stay with us over a winter weekend so that he could experience some snow for once (we're all Phoenix-Arizona natives). We strolled downtown Durango three different times, spent a day sledding and ice skating in Silverton, ate at some local Durango spots, and spent some nice quality time together. It was such a great way to start the year as I haven't spent that much uninterrupted time with my brother in a long time. It really hit me hard at how much he has grown since I moved away from AZ little over three years ago. Although I have seen him many times since then, it's never been just him and me, so I was able to get more conversational moments with him and get to know my little brother who is now an adult. I can't tell you how strange it is to say that! I still vividly remember him as a newborn and when I first met and held him at the hospital. I also recall those mornings when our mom needed sleep and my sister and I cared for and fed him (while also pretending that he was *our* baby in a little makeshift home we built in the living room, hehe!). Maybe it's too easy to always see the youngest in the family as the baby and to treat them as such. However, it's also really wonderful to see your younger sibling embrace their adulthood sooner than you did. ha! Anyway....on to the photos! The drive up to Silverton offered plenty of epic snowy landscapes that filled us with awe!

Scratch ice-skating on a natural pond off my bucket list! It was an absolute pain and I was terrified almost the entire time, but hey I got pretty good at shuffling and making small glides. My brother and I just kind of played it safe and did what we could to move around on the uneven ice, but my husband had to be a complete jerk and act like the bully and show-off at the rink. haha!

The photos below are from the drizzly Sunday afternoon we spent at The Irish Embassy Pub where a group of local Celtic musicians performed their weekly set of jigs and reels. I *love* Sunday afternoons at the pub for that very reason. Afterwards, we visited a look out point above Durango and I did a little mini photo shoot of my brother. 

It was such a great weekend! ^_^

The week that followed brought a momentous celebration of my husband's 30th birthday! I treated him to a flavorful dinner at the Himalayan Kitchen, where we dined on fresh house-made ice tea (the best!), Chicken Phing (a Tibetan dish!), and deliciously marinated and tandoor-roasted yak, shrimp, and chicken. Have I not mentioned before that Durango has the best restaurants? I die of happiness inside every time. ^_^ Ahem! Back to my husband turning 30...while I don't deem 30s as "old" as some people regard them, I do think of them as a turning point in your age, not really being young but not really being old. haha! Maybe someone in their 60s would disagree with me. However, I also see them as an age or decade where one has the potential to accomplish much due to the growing pains and realizations that came with the 20s. I have great hopes for my husband as he enters his 30s, that he would accomplish a lot for himself and for us. He put down a lot of roots in his 20s by pursuing his career in IT, marrying me, and solidifying his worldview and Christian beliefs. Now comes the season where he can take himself deeper into those areas of his life and nurture those places while continuing to mature in his own character.

Ever since Nolan came into my life, I took up the celebration of him with passion! We have been through many rough spots in our marriage, so many points of revelation at how much he and I differ from each other and the heated emotions that arise from such strong disagreements and opposing viewpoints. I wholeheartedly respected him when he first came into my life and when we began our marriage, but I did not realize that, that respect would be completely remade into an entirely new one after these four years of our young marriage. Now, I respect him as an individual, as one who has carved his own path in life but also one who has been humbled by his Creator. I still absolutely enjoy celebrating my husband, but now I do it not for who I expect him to become or only for those qualities I deem worthy in him, but who he presently is. I began to see the heart of God in the difficulties I have faced living with such a strong-minded, hard-willed, independent man. Before, I saw all the potential of him, all that he could become! Now, I see him for who he is, the flaws and the strengths of character. I share all this with the upmost respect of my husband because he is a man on his own journey and I have become so intimately united with him that I see every detail of him on that path. There are so many things about him that will never jive well in our sensitive, politically-correct, and mob-mentality culture and, I expect, that he will never come across many individuals that will like, respect, or even want to accept someone like him. But that's okay. The diversity in our humanity is such that, sometimes, some of us are left to trail our own paths, even accepting that there are seasons when we must be the "lone ranger" types and do our own things, be our own person, even if others never validate us. With each passing year of our marriage, I sense that the Lord grants me a little more of a detailed peak into why He chose me and Nolan for one another (myself also being a pretty stubborn and strong-minded person who can be fiery and forceful!) Sometimes, I have completely lost sight of that in our hard times together, as to be expected. But in these days when the cloud breaks, I see how far Nolan and I have come in our mutual respect, care, and love for one another. There are so many more years ahead of us for all that to be put through the test again and again, I know. In the meantime, I am learning so much in appreciating my husband now, especially for who he is as a man.

The rest of January after these events was pretty slow. It's difficult for me to practice mindfulness throughout my days when I just want to "get things over with" and "get to the better stuff." Maybe I will always struggle with being mindful and grateful for the simple, slow, everyday. I am so future-oriented, I drive myself insane with plans and lists and goals. I ask myself, "when will I ever learn?!" Then, I'm like, whatever, probably never. I did learn, however, that feeding chickens is a good mindful activity, which I get to do plenty of when I visit my in-laws'. Chickens are hilarious creatures and these particularly ones especially so, considering just how pampered of a lifestyle they live.

 Also, I baked these delicious paleo banana muffins twice recently because I have been craving baked goods. They are the perfect consistency, which is difficult to achieve with a lot of paleo recipes. I ate them with a nice cup of almond milk! Perfect reward after long days at work.

 And recently the thought occurred to me about what an interesting line of work I do. My job is to nurture 2 to 3 years old and teach them regulatory skills of emotional self-management, problem-solving, and social development. I mean, all moms do this, too, but it's not common that one remains with the same exact age group of children longer than a year. A parent pointed that out to me last year and it really hit me because it is very unusual. 

As I am so very close to completing my last class to become preschool teacher qualified, I have reflected a lot on how different, but very significant this line of work is. I never saw myself doing this as I entered my 20's, but I am incredibly thankful that I was given this opportunity as I have been very disappointed in myself for silly and ignorant decisions I made in college. I always knew I was never wired to take up a line of work that would pay me very well. It's my nature. I'd be a starving artist if I wasn't being a caregiver. :-/ So, while it is exhausting to work with children 5 days a week, I do find that it comes more naturally for me and why I feel capable of meeting the various demands of this work, unlike most job fields I've considered before.

Also, I know no one really cares, but by the beginning of this year I began to consider myself a die-hard fan of Poldark. We will see what season 3 brings, but at the moment I am a fan! My Poldark binge-watching began after suffering in my Outlander drought and wanting some glorious fictional and historical romance to fill the temporary void. Ross Poldark and Demelza are such an interesting fictional mash-up. After much thought and careful research about MBTI cognitive functions, I have realized they are a good example of a (keep in mind, very fictional - so their personalities grow and stretch more than natural!) ESTJ and ISFP pairing, with a particular emphasis on the EST and IFP aspects. And, like Outlander, I so appreciate a good fictional marriage relationship that highlights real marital struggles. It's encouraging to me and I always end up learning so much about my own marriage through these on-screen examples.

"drink a toast to tomorrow and one to days long ago!"

 Good grief, 2016 came and went and every year of adulthood seems to be faster than the next! These last two weeks have been a wonderful winter break filled with tea, goodies, and lots of downtime. I had plans to do something productive during my break, but then I realized I don't need to be productive all the time. I enjoyed not rushing around to meet all the obligations of adulthood. It has been great!

2016 began on a desperate note. A plethora of personal trials, which had been steadily increasing over many months, met its peak in the first few months of 2016. I was more than ready to throw in the towel of life. I was sick of all the open-ended questions that come with adulthood - you know, the ones that force you to take responsibility for your life. I thought I was facing another entire year of just pure hardship and complete uncertainty. I couldn't find any joy in it; all I really wanted was just a simple, calm, uneventful life and I was being given the opposite. Then, spring came and it seemed the things that gripped us began to thaw, ever so slowly. A trip to see my family proved to be strengthening. Little by little, the day to day activities began to calm down and find routine. By early summer, I began to think I could hope for uneventful and relatively small happy days ahead. A trip to Ouray, CO brought a sense of trust and safety again in our marriage. 

The more 2016 unfolded, the better it became. There were little surprises around the corner of every month. Nolan and I began to explore the areas surrounding this beautiful little pocket of Southwest Colorado. We got to try so many local restaurants and went on many back-road drives. In the mundane everyday and in the natural beauty, we found our way back to each other, a sense of joy and gratitude, and a hope for the days ahead of us. It didn't come all at once, but as the "good" slowly arrived, I realized my heart was softening again to life. 12 full months and 2016 ended with a few very gracious and undeserved gifts in our jobs and in our marriage. Reflecting on this, I don't really know how to respond, but now I do see things from a different (hopefully better) perspective. There is a time for everything underneath the sun.

I have quite a list of goals and plans for 2017. Things for the home, things for my creative goals, places to travel, learning my camera and photo-editing software more, keeping well-practiced in some of my music, and more. I am a list-girl. I jot down everything on lists, all the while realizing they could become completely railroaded by life. So, I am just gonna try (key word: try) to gently hold to my lists this year.

It snowed on Christmas Day and, now, it is snowing on New Year's Day. I feel as if these are heaven's reminder that there is still magic to be found in this mad rush of human life.

We spent a somewhat early Christmas with my in-laws' (thus all the cozy Christmas decor photos below!), but we of course made time for just us by opening up stockings at our apartment.

 And what better way to end the year than with a grouchy kitty cat that doesn't enjoy taking photos with you in matching flower crowns even though you bribed him with many treats? :-D

 Cheers to a humbling 2016 and a hope-filled 2017! I begin the year with a song from one of my favorite bands performing Toast to Tomorrow live!

On humanity, the law, Thanksgiving, identity, and peace.

"All nature seems to weary now, her task is nearly ended..."
 ~ Loreena Mckennit, The Seasons ~

It is a rough adjustment for me when the days grow darker. I begin to lack motivation and inspiration, but I suppose those things shall come to me again in time.

November was a lot of things that I cannot quite find the best adjectives for. It was another busy month, which was fine. Mostly, it was the days and weeks leading up to and following the election that really irritated me. Yes, irritable...that's a perfect word. I was perfectly irritable in the month of Thanksgiving. Sounds quite right, doesn't it? I should have just avoided social media and all news for the entire month. There was a lot of noise in the world concerning the election. All the fuss and nonsense of this world, once again, convinced me that I just never ever belonged to this world to begin with (well, by the "world" I mean the spirit or sense of being and thinking that is currently within mankind on a whole). I have always been an outsider in terms of popular opinion and the ways of the masses, but this election certainly revealed how much more of an outsider I am than I ever realized. I have a mess of conflicted emotions and thoughts about this country and the embarrassment that made up the entirety of both Clinton and Trump's campaigns and their followers. Nevertheless, I am not gonna waste space sharing my opinion about any of those things because it truly is a vain endeavor to do so. However, there is one area that I have thought quite a lot about since the election. It is the whole ongoing topic of inclusion. You know, it's a popular word that's thrown around quite a lot these days. The original definition of the world is pretty simple and general, but I fear that this word is being redefined by the media and the masses of our country to meet the needs of only select groups of people. After the election, due to the violence and hate seen across our country and social media outlets, there was an obvious counter movement against it. Clashing against the strong hate and opposition were messages of love, kindness, gentleness, and the whole nine yards of all the gushy sweet stuff ever to be imagined. The violence and hate were shocking and frightening to me, but I found the messages of love rather irritating. For a couple of weeks I stewed inwardly over this. Of course I believe in and desire peace, love, kindness, etc! Why would I become so aggravated by such messages? I just couldn't grasp what I was feeling. So, being a feeler, I let all the emotions just flow. I have grown accustomed to my own inner world enough to know that an objective, rational view point will come once my emotions are allowed space to just be.The irritability turned into anger and the anger then resolved into its true form: fear.

 Everyone and everything in this world will shout and kick and scream for peace and love and equality for all except when there are individuals who disagree or individuals who hold a radically opposite lifestyle and belief system from what the world only wants to accept. The 20th century brought incredible changes for people of different lifestyles, skin colors, religions, etc. It is a good and wonderful thing that everyone gets to live freely as they choose and to be whoever they are and still hold the equal and unalienable rights as anyone else. However, while changes can be made to protect the lives of all, changes cannot be enforced upon human hearts. Prejudice, animosity, and resentment. It's a human reality. And it's a reality that has to be accepted to some extent. I am not being a Negative Nancy, I am just putting a reality check out there for any who might still be denying this.

One of the core reasons why the topic of inclusion and messages pushing for kindness, acceptance, and love towards all angers me is because, deep down, I fear the truth. And the truth is that global peace and love will never exist in this imperfect world. To be quite frank, this world will tenaciously fight to support the rights and freedoms of different races, religions, genders, and the sexual preferences of all except the person(s) that says he/she believes Jesus Christ is the only way, the truth, and the life. In my heart, I know that no matter how many special privileges and rights everyone else gets, there could very well be a day where I am denied all those things because there is only One who I identify my whole being with. And it just so happens that talk of Christ is pretty darn offensive to all. I am not gonna jump the gun and say that day is drawing near or dramatically predict persecution. I am not talking about the extremes just yet. I am just voicing, generally, that the same people that protect the rights of others aren't gonna be there to protect my rights if the time ever came for such a need. It's true, you know.

When I see posts and hashtags on social media for peace and love, I get irritated because peace and love cannot be asked for. They cannot be demanded for. And they most certainly cannot be enforced! I realize that I might be taking this a little too far. I know many just want to put those messages out there to remind others, not to force it from them. I realize that and I am not against the reminders. I am speaking rather generally about this. I am not pin-pointing or accusing anyone of this. I am more addressing the sad fact (reality check, people!) that such messages can and will and are being used to enforce others to practice love, kindness, and peace towards all. These virtues are becoming something of a Law these days. This is where the definition of love, peace, and kindness is starting to become muddled. You see, once upon a time, mankind got hooked on laws and began his love affair with government to enforce them . Laws create order and are really useful for the nitty-gritty details of human life. Back in yonder days of old (hehe!), Laws were pretty cruel. They didn't protect people, but instead were, most often, oppressive. Fast forward to the western world of the 20th and, now, 21st centuries. Wow, lookie lookie...mankind finally got on to certain amount of equality and fairness. Now oppression is fought against so that all can have the same shared voice. However, I fear the tides might be (might be! Who am I kidding? They have already and, no doubt, will continue to) turning into the opposite extreme. Now, there are things called "hate crimes." While I wholeheartedly agree that violence of any kind against any person cannot be accepted or tolerated, I do not agree that merely voicing disagreement towards someone or having a radical or differing opinion of others is considered a hate crime. But this is the way the world is turning. While hate crimes are currently defined as an act of violence motivated by racial/sexual prejudice, there is no doubt that, over time, it will (already has in small ways) become a more generalized definition to extend towards anyone who merely (even peaceably!) disagrees with the lifestyle of another. To love all, to be at peace with all, to be kind towards all is becoming redefined as not ever voicing the slightest hint of disagreement, contrary opinion, or opposing belief-system towards those selected for special rights and privileges. Yet, in the same breath, those same voices will say, "yes, equality for all!" But actions speak louder than words. Inclusion, by the world's definition, is really only inclusion for some and not for all because true inclusion would mean having to accept others that don't agree with you or maybe hold a belief system that is different or (gasp!) offensive to your own feelings and thoughts. These days, everything just seems very, very conditional.

Love is now the Law and you must, you should, you ought...!



The surefire way to get the opposite of what you want is to demand and enforce what you want.



I am not sure about you, but when I am told and forced to accept someone, to love them, and to get along, I actually want to do the opposite. That kind of attitude and spirit just incites rebellion in me! To be honest, having to read all over social media that "we need to love" or "be kind" or "be this" or "be that," brought about an eruption of anger, rebellion, and anti-everything and anti-everyone in me. This might shock some readers, which I am totally okay with. I am human. Just because I am a born-again Christian doesn't mean I never feel anger, rebellion, and dislike. Last I checked, I am still flesh and blood. And I certainly do not want to be told how to be. To be told that I need to be loving smells like the foul beginnings of the Law at work. Oh, good intentions are behind it all, I am sure. But good intentions aren't enough. And if anyone would love a detailed look at the spirit of the Law, read the entire book of Romans. The Law today looks different, but it's the exact same spirit.

So, in summary, I am not an advocate for that kind of inclusion, love, kindness, or peace. Those are warped definitions.

As one who claims Christ as the only way, the truth, the life, I am aware and accept that there are and will be others who may hold their prejudices or hostility towards me, perhaps from assuming that I am like others of the Christian belief who have been harsh or judgemental towards them. I get it. I have the "unpopular religion." But I do hope that as much as I strive to extend mutual acceptance and understanding, that others will also give the same to me. Also, another reality check (gasp!), judgements are a natural part of being human. Yes, many times judgements are irrational and unfair, but hey, that is part of the human journey and we all grow in humility at our own pace (sometimes later rather than sooner, unfortunately).

So maybe we should all just accept each other at where we are at in our human journey, whether it looks offensive and ugly or not?

A nice thought, but probably never gonna happen. Mankind is predictable and mankind loves to stay on repeat. Quite frankly, this is really what I need to accept.

As one who identifies with Christ alone, I strive to be peaceable towards all, to treat others with a gentle kindness and with an enduring love for humanity because no matter how far we have fallen, the original blueprint in every human being is that every man and woman was made in the image of God. I also strive for honesty and truth that will not be watered down, but will seek to administer such opinions or truth with gentleness and zero hostility.

So, this past Thanksgiving I wanted to reflect on the really basic, eternal things that I am thankful for. To be human and to live in a human world means there will be change, decay, inconsistency, and instability. I can't set my joy purely in the things that are fading away.

I am thankful to be free of the the Law, from all the shapes and forms that it takes. I am thankful that my identity as a child of God is eternally sealed, made in His image, born again with a new heart and mind by the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the working of the Holy Spirit in me. I am thankful to be free to Love unconditionally (with the growth, patience, and time that, that takes as a new creation to show). I am thankful that my hope and my future does not hinge upon Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump or any ruler for that matter. I am thankful that this one life I have been given is not my own - I am free from having to demand my way or my wants because I can now choose to trust in Him who so cares for me, in trials, sickness, blessing, and more.

So, blah blah, my opinion, my thoughts, my stance. I know these words are like one star among all the billions. Most of the time, I just keep my thoughts to myself on the internet. But, since this is my blog, I might as well as be me every now and then. ;-P

Finally, photos! Some of them are from earlier in the month when Nolan and I took a short hike, some every day shots, and then some snapshots from Thanksgiving with Nolan's family. I meant to take more photos, but most of the time I am just lazy.

The morning after the November supermoon event!

Walk away for one minute and the kitty claims your seat!

You can tell my husband is a fan of photos, right?

 





















And I close on a personal note regarding my chronic pain journey.

I have been going to physical therapy since April for major chronic pain issues in my thoracic spine area, left shoulder blade and upper shoulder, and neck. This journey has been intense. Relief, then return of pain, then relief, then pain. Emotions sailing high and low. Thoughts spiraling, thoughts normalizing. I am significantly recovered from the state I was in when I first started attending physical therapy. For once, I don't feel totally trapped in a cage of restricted, tight muscles and throbbing pain and misalignment. I actually have my posture back! Never did I realize how wonderful it felt to sit up straight naturally instead of constantly fighting to hold myself up. I still have many more days of therapy to go. It's taking longer than I had planned or wanted. These sessions take a big portion out of my hard-earned checks. I recently felt the dagger of self-inflicted guilt when I began to really put the pieces together and understand the cause of my chronic pain. It's humiliating, really. I thought my chronic pain was due to haywire hormones and a gut imbalance. For so long, I wanted to believe I was the victim of my own body doing its own thing because of the stress of life. But in truth, I did this. I brought about my own battle with physical pain by the many poor, irrational, and devastating choices I made in 2014/early 2015 when I lost all sense of who I was. I did some specific (unintentionally!) harmful things to myself during that season. That year truly did bring about a crisis of identity in me. Brought on by the divorce of my parents, the harsh realities of moving to a new city, and leaving behind all that was familiar and comfortable, I lost myself. 2014 was the year when the me that I knew, the me that I made up, was torn down. The person I am now is not who I was just 2 to 3 years ago. I have faced massive challenges in every aspect of my being and I pray that I am a better person because of all this. I pray that I am now becoming who I was always meant to be because of these trials. All this pain, this awful amount of both physical and heart-wrenching pain, has broken my inward Spirit again and again. For so long, I have resented these words spoken by Charles Spurgeon: "I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages." I have battled hard with God (still do, sometimes) about so many things, about who He is, about who I am. Slowly, I am emerging from that spirit of conflict and fighting into one that rests and waits and trusts. The ability to rest, wait, and trust emerges from that awareness of who the Lord is, who He truly is, not who others or myself have described Him as. And it emerges from a renewed awareness of my own identity. My identity - no longer linked to family members, my husband, friends, or my accomplishments, talents, or my physical state, or even my emotional being. My identity, now sealed into something unchangeable. I am Abba's child. I am the beloved of the Father, the fruits of which may not yet fully be revealed, but are slowly growing into place. There is a stillness and steadiness in this. How can there be such peace in so much that is not made whole or made right? How can an invisible, unknown God be seen and known? How can I know belonging and certainty in the aloneness and the unmerciful changes of time?

Could It Be?
Michael Card
In the ebb and flow of living
As we wander through the years
We're told to listen to a voice
We can't hear with our ears

They say to live by something
That you can't see with your eyes
Is there really any purpose
To this foolish exercise?

Could it be, You make Your presence known
So often by Your absence?
Could it be that questions tell us more
Than answers ever do?

Could it be that You would really rather
die
Than live without us?
Could it be the only answer that means
anything
Is You?

In our words and in our silence
In our pride and in our shame
To the genius and the scholar
To the foolish and insane

To the ones who care to seek You
To the ones who never will
You are the only answer even still

Could it be, You make Your presence known
So often by Your absence?
Could it be that questions tell us more
Than answers ever do?

Could it be that You would really rather
die
Than live without us?
Could it be the only answer that means
anything
Is You?

It's a question you can't answer
An answer you cannot express
That the gentle Man of Sorrow
Is the source of happiness

You'll never solve the mystery
Of this magnetic man
For you must believe to understand

Could it be, You make Your presence known
So often by Your absence?
Could it be that questions tell us more
Than answers ever do?

Could it be that You would really rather
die
Than live without us?
Could it be the only answer that means
anything
Is You?

Could it be the only answer that means
anything
Is You?

the last glow

My post for October isn't going to be wordy. It was a simple month filled with expected things. I may whine about boring routines (always have, hehe!), but it's what I would most like for, at least, the next couple years. Routines are stable and grounding and I am grateful to be in a season where that's what my weeks consist mostly of (never thought I'd ever say such a thing! haha). There is something comforting about coming home to my husband each evening, whether it was a rough day and we have to vent about it or not. Coming home feels safe.



Because Nolan and I were a bit lazy this year, we ended up missing the peak season for colors in the high country. Just didn't get out there in time! So, we drove west towards Hesperus at the beginning of October and found some trees that were still glowing. While everyone has been filling their minds with the negative realities of the upcoming election, I felt an extreme desire to get lost in the woods, to forget everything about this world, to be held by the beauty and comfort of nature quietly soothing me.

 














We attempted to capture some trees here in Durango at sunset, but only snapped a few nice images in the process. The sun disappears fast!

 

October was unusually warm here and that motivated me to bike ride quite a bit. Since I absolutely dislike exercising during the winter months (even on the sunny days, I can't stand aerobic exercise with the bitter cold air or wind nipping at my face!), I am trying to take advantage of this 60 or 70 degree weather before I just want to hibernate every day.



Ah, here are my Outlander Pops celebrating with me as I embarked on the eighth book of the Outlander series. ^_^ It's taken me a year and a half to make it through Gabaldon's series and while she has yet to publish book 9, I do feel pretty accomplished that I made it through these thick novels. Not all of them were worth my time, but book 8 has definitely been more satisfying.

And, on the last weekend of October, Nolan and I enjoyed a wonderful dining experience at James Ranch in the Animas River Valley. It's a family-owned farm, market, and eatery. I have no idea why we never thought to go there sooner! I am sure it's even more inviting in the summer with all the greenery and more produce. Definitely going back there next year! For anyone who might ever pass through southwest Colorado, I definitely recommend checking out this place here. Their grass-fed beef hamburgers are divine! It was a relaxing place to end the month.

p.s. Note to self, have Nolan take more photos of me in the future so others know of my existence. haha! I have noticed that, lately, I haven't been in many of our photos. I will try to be in more photos this next month, especially during Thanksgiving week!